The tractor takes her loud time coming up the hill. Little dog tries in vain to sleep in her bed by the window. How far are we from where we want to be? I want to be so immersed in writing that I do not hear the tractor. Little dog wants her nap. But she is guarding me, always, so she is awake now and following the machine’s progress. Just in case. And I cannot resist getting up to see who is doing what in which field. The challenge is not looking. I know, Stephen King, I know. Cover the windows. Good advice. To let loose the distractions that keep me away from the center where the words are is the first step, every day.
Today I tough it out. I want to write and more importantly I want to write well. How funny it is that of all the things I have done — mountain climbing, horseback riding at breakneck speeds over fences, and facing down armed attackers — sitting here in this little room trying to write is the most frightening of all. I have stored up half a life time’s worth of experience and now is the time to tell all. Let all of the good and the wasted times mean something. I am trying.
Last week I struggled to restructure my first novel based on the excellent feedback I got from my readers. And then, I gave up. Truly. That was it. Honestly, there was so much change required that I just decided I did not care. I even wrote “I don’t care” at the end of a particularly bad page. I packed up drafts and notebooks and spent one day working on the new novel.
But the characters were not willing to be abandoned. I kept going back and writing down ideas in my notebook. I kept thinking, maybe this instead, maybe that. I know! How about this? That surprised me. I missed working on it. So this week I am back at it. It will be interesting to see where it leads.
© Margaret Grant and magoffleash, 2011-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
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