Fiction

Open Mic Night Virgin

It is utterly appropriate that my first post with the Insecure Writers Support Group is about signing up for an open mic night to read from the novel I am working on.

Unlike a lot of people I am comfortable speaking to a crowd.  Oh let’s be totally honest I love being center stage.  Finally everyone has to quiet down and pay attention to me.  I grew up the youngest and smallest so when I step up to the microphone and everyone shuts up and focuses on me, that feels great.  If they don’t quiet down, I can ask them to.  Or kick them out.

I do have a creeping feeling though that this may be different.  I will be reading to a group of people comprised of I know not whom.  It will not be my small, intimate writers group, or the kind folks in the annual poetry workshop I have come to know.

This will be – I don’t know who.  Anyone who wants to come.  Anyone at all.  And I will be reading from my novel~this novel~the one I cannot tell if it is any good at all.  The one I have been pouring my guts and soul into for so long.

That will make a difference, I know it will.  I just don’t exactly know how it will do so.  I try to imagine possible outcomes the worst of which of course is indifference.  Polite applause, distracted eye wandering, phone checking.

The next worse is gushing, because I never know what to do with that and become wide-eyed and tense and nod too much.

Scene:  They hate it.

Me:  Oh, I see and what is the title of your novel again?

Scene:  They love it.

Me:  Oh what do you know, it sucks, are you kidding me?

As you can see I have a good head start on my defensive posturing.  Which will not help me one little bit on Saturday.  THIS SATURDAY?!  I’m sure it will be fine…

© Margaret Grant and magoffleash, 2012-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Discussion

10 responses to ‘Open Mic Night Virgin

  1. “Unlike a lot of people I am comfortable speaking to a crowd. Oh let’s be totally honest I love being center stage. Finally everyone has to quiet down and pay attention to me. I grew up the youngest and smallest so when I step up to the microphone and everyone shuts up and focuses on me, that feels great. If they don’t quiet down, I can ask them to. Or kick them out.”

    MARGARET! We share head space. I could have written this, though not nearly as well. Youngest of four; three older brothers well north of 6 feet- I’m the shrimp. I LOVE performing, for this very reason. At last. At last. People have to listen.

    I wish I could be there. I am jealous these strangers will get a taste of your novel. It will be beautiful, all the more so because your voice will carry the words.

    I will be cheering you on!

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